I remind myself of what my mum told me ages ago, about her experience in art school: 'It's not the people who were the best artists who succeeded, it's the ones who talked about themselves, who could talk about their art, and were willing to get out there. And often they weren't the best artists, but they're the ones who made it.'
The other week a friend asked me if I would record some music with her band, and possibly perform with them at some point. It's very electronic and would likely involve my sound being quite heavily processed. And I would love love love to do it. I picked up this instrument, and have stuck by it, because of my love for indie pop augmented by cellos as well as my love for Haydn and Bach.
There is a voice, squeaking at the back of my head: 'You are nowhere near good enough to do this. What do you think you're doing? YOU WILL MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF.'
But, as we all know, there is nothing gained by sitting around until you're magically perfect. And in a classical music land, I throw myself into all sorts of impossible situations and manage just fine (sight reading huge piles of new repertoire, spending an entire term as the only cello in the orchestra, picking up my flute for the first time in 10 years and playing Mozart 40 all come to mind).
So, here's to going forward and pretending everything is fine.
